Cancer: Once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it
— by Nikki D. Muskey
I always feel honored and humbled when I receive a Story of Hope. It’s not easy to poke at our wounds, our pain, to share such intimate stories that truly change our lives. For Nikki, this is true, too. Losing your mother is never easy. Losing her to cancer that was so advanced when realized and diagnosed is especially hard. I watched Nikki care for her mother with her skills as a nurse and her love as a devoted daughter.
I wept with Nikki when her mother passed, as I wept with her father, my brother, her sibling, my nephew, and Nikki’s lovely children. Thank you, my dear, beautiful, wonderful Nikki, for sharing your Story of Hope- I miss Cyndi very much.
—Tina
“It was while I helped my mom into a hospital gown that I was instantly faced with the knowledge that cancer doesn’t discriminate.”
What was a 1st COPD exacerbation, turned into a series of tests, scans, and diagnoses. I’ll never understand why my mom didn’t share with me that a tumor had erupted through her breast. Yes, through her breast. She should have mentioned it to me. I’m a nurse, her daughter...her caregiver.
It was while I helped my mom into a hospital gown that I was instantly faced with the knowledge that cancer doesn’t discriminate. I knew something wasn’t right. I guess the nurse’s intuition in me was screaming over the excuses we tell ourselves to keep from panicking when it’s someone we love who is sick. The signs were there-like the weight loss that seemed just to appear. I can only assume that she hadn’t said anything to anyone about it because she’d given up. However, we are here and all we can do is deal with this. And, there was a lot to deal with having my kids finishing their last 2 years of high school, having my mom being gravely sick, working full time, and having to deal with the 5 stages of grief.
“Always tell the people closest to you that you love them.”
You do all the research. In my field, the experts say to know your feelings, thoughts, and expectations. Then there are the family's expectations and the patient's expectations. It was a really tough two years slowly losing mom. However, there were valuable lessons learned. Always tell the people closest to you that you love them. We were lucky in a sense. We had the opportunity to say goodbye. We had the opportunity to talk about the good times and to forgive the mistakes along the way.
Nikki with her mother, Cyndi
Most importantly, I learned first-hand how critical early screening is. I can’t stress it enough. Get your colonoscopies and mammograms!! Stop smoking! Eat healthily and exercise. Listen to your body!
I intend to. I HAVE to...It was during this challenging, emotional time with my mom that I learned that I carry the BRCA2 gene. It runs in the family but is totally unrelated to my mom’s cancer and illnesses. I continue to stay on top of my screenings and up to date on the research. Early detection saves lives!
“Know that if you feel a lump, or see your skin texture change, ACT!”
Nikki, her twin brother Frank, and their mother, Cyndi.
Maybe if my mom had acted as soon as she saw the tumor, or if she got her yearly screenings, the outcome may have been different for her. It may be for you and me. Know that if you feel a lump, or see your skin texture change, ACT! Go get it checked out. Same with colonoscopies! The new age is 45 for regular screenings (earlier if there’s a family history). Cancer doesn’t have to win.
