Kevin Beard
“I first met Kevin Beard at the Romantic Times Book Lovers Convention many years ago and Was fortunate to see him each year since while we each attended the incredible Book Lovers Conventions I’ve enjoyed our behind-the-scenes visits as he worked so hard with the other BLC volunteers (all people as lovely as Kevin!) We shared our cancer journeys with one another, as warriors and survivors often do. I was honored to hear his story and happy he is now sharing it with you. Thank you a Kevin for sharing your Story of Hope.”
-Tina
“Had I thought it was hemorrhoids I probably would have never went in to see him.”
July 30th 2013, it was my birthday, the day I went to visit my doctor. I had been having pain in my pelvic and rectal areas for a while, as well as some other rather embarrassing symptoms, and I had had enough of wondering and wanted to know what was going on. My Doctor listened to my symptoms, checked some things on his computer, and pronounced that it was probably hemorrhoids without ever examining me. My symptoms were way too severe to be hemorrhoids and I knew this. Had I thought it was hemorrhoids I probably would have never went in to see him. He sent me for an x-ray anyway and then later that day explained to me that I was constipated. Frustrated I asked, “How can I be constipated with chronic diarrhea?” He couldn't explain it and sent me home. A week later his office called and they had sent in an order for me to go to a specialist for a colonoscopy.
Kevin Beard with Niece
I had just turned 59 and I was past due for one anyway. 2 Months later I had the colonoscopy. 4 days after that, they called with the news that it was not hemorrhoids; it was stage 4 anal cancer. At that moment I felt relieved to know that the pain and suffering I had been through was not all in my head and I had a very valid reason for all I had been through. It had not yet hit me of the severity of what I would have to go through to try to beat this thing. The Doctor’s office recommended me to an oncologist and a radiation oncologist.
My first meeting went well and they set me up to have an ultrasound. The Ultrasound revealed that the cancer had also spread to the lymph nodes in my pelvic region and my treatment would have to include that area. They then did something to me I swore would never happen: they tattooed me. Just three little dots where they would target the radiation. They let me know that I would be having radiation treatments every day, that I would be wearing a pump, and having chemo every other week. I had to look at it all as very boring and clinical. It was my way of dealing with it and trying to take it one step at a time. The hardest part for me was telling my sons.
When I got the initial news of the big C, I was babysitting my 8 month old grandson while my eldest son slept. He worked third shift so I had to wake him and give him the news. He was groggy from being disturbed and didn't show much of a reaction but later I found out that when I left the room he laid there and cried. To try to ease my mind further I started researching online, the bane of all doctors, but I wanted to know exactly what Anal cancer was. It didn't really hit me until that night when I was at work. I asked my district manager to come in and called in all my shift leaders to let them know that I would have to take a leave of absence so I could concentrate on my health knowing that I could not go through what I was about to go through and work 50 to 60 hours a week. The company I worked for at the time was truly remarkable! They let me know my job would be waiting for me when I got better and that they would hope for the best.
“I lost a little hair, but that didn't get to me, I just kept going, What got me through it, my driving force…”
Once that was taken care of, I had to tell my youngest son and my siblings. They were all very supportive and offered what help they could. Many people, when they go through this battle, find strength in religion and prayer but I was never religious. I appreciated people’s prayers and positive thoughts, but that wasn't what got me through. I didn't pray, or beg to be cured, I didn't beg to live either, because for some reason, I never thought I was going to die. I knew it was a possibility, but I just never thought, “this is the end.” I didn't get sick, I only threw up once and that may have been because of a suspicious gas station chicken sandwich. I lost a little hair, but that didn't get to me, I just kept going, What got me through it, my driving force, was the thought that if I didn't beat this then my grandson wouldn't have any memories of me. I needed more time with him and his older sisters so I had to get better. And I have always believed that no matter what the cause, when it's your time to go then it's your time and thankfully this wasn't mine.
Kevin and Tina visiting at a Book Lovers Convention!
Kevin with Tina DeSalvo supporting Friends Fight Together Campaign with Mammovan of Nevada in Reno!
I also did my best to surround myself with positive people because, when you go through something like this, negativity is something you can't afford. Treatment lasted 3 months, my last day being Christmas Eve 2013. After that I had to have another colonoscopy and more tests to see if the treatments worked. February 2014 I was told I was in remission which thrilled me but I still had many problems. I had third degree burns on my pelvic area and rear and found out from a tech that they had over radiated me. I have continued to struggle with the side effects of the radiation to this day and even had to have surgery on a bowel obstruction caused by the scar tissue. Even with all of that I was thankful because I had more life to live with my family.
I am not one to wish for accolades for something that has happened to me or for surviving what I have been through but if my story can help someone I am glad to tell it. Please remember if you are facing something daunting or life changing, these are the things that helped me and I feel they bare repeating. Keep a positive attitude, especially when its the hardest thing to do. Surround yourself with great friends. And, most importantly, besides treatment, is your family, chosen or blood.
My name is Kevin Beard and I am a Cancer survivor.
